I'm Sucks........

Two weeks went over in Harlows MGI...
Moved to Seapark...very near LRT Tmn Paramount...walking distance....
Good chat wth housemate...evrythg seems fine...

Working???
Damn hard...not in terms of work load...but in terms of work expectation....I'm sucks...really bad..
No one said to me that i'm sucks...but, i can feel myself is bad...not performing well...terrible...
Keep on having comments from the seniors and colleagues...Bad and negative comments...
But, i had tried to improve...still receiving comments...not lesser....but everyday surely will receive some comments...making me feel that i'm terribly bad and not good at all...

I never felt like this before in any of my previous job. All those previous job, i may be receiving comments but only once or twice, and i will make sure myself won't get the repeated comments again..But this job, i'm totally lost. Dunno what shall i do that is right and dunno what i shld hv do on some of the times...I keep having hesitation...Blur and hesitated and lost direction...

No confident of doing well and might have the fear of getting fired...I never get fired...and will not let this happen...Really scary...Why??Why i cant do better???

End of November...self evaluation!!!!!!!!!

Gambateh YS!!!!!!!

After the 1st week...

Harlow's MGI....
Nice, friendly, loud and very very brave colleagues...

Been placed in the money market side...
Colleagues willing to teach me...learn abit about the terms and jargons that they normally use in quoting the price...
Went out for lunch once with bank dealers...
A bit bored cos the topic is not so much between me and the dealers...
Feel myself very very lack of knowledge...
Must read more newspaper and update more on current issues...
So, newspaper is oso one investment ady...

Still have trouble finding room....
Dunno whether will get to move or not??
If not, will have to travel everyday from Subang Jaya to KLCC...
Wake up at 530am and reach there around 830am...
5min late means will miss the bus and the LRT...so reach KLCC will late a lot ady...
Dunno how long i can tahan like tat???
Haih...

These new job really make me change a lot...
Have to makeup, so i learn makeup and dress up and of course act prettier and more confident...
Speak louder and jokes more, talk nonsense too..
Will i get used??
Or can i even get over the probation period??

Went to listen about insurance and decided to involve partimely in insurance...
Now in my mind is only money and money....nothing else...bcos others i no need to think so much...
No more silly thinking...
Most important of all, now no more pesimistic thinking in my mind...
If meet up any problem, will try to ask around for opinion, brainstorming for solutions and definitely, there will be a solution...
No more nagging around, or complaining about this and that....
I can do it...
Yes, i will find solution and will be more positive of myself...


Gambateh,YS!!!
Jia you!!Jia you!!!

Goodbye Maersk...

Today is 11th October...
Tomorrow is my last day in Maersk...
And also my manager Carsten last day in Maersk Malaysia...
He will be going to Maersk China...
But i will be leaving Maersk...

Kath bring me to a seafood restaurant in Subang Airport there for farewell dinner...
So fast, i'll be leaving and she knows that from the 1st day i join...
Yet, it is just 3 months...
And i give her troubles...
No one take over my place yet...
Meaning she need to handle a lot of things by herself for a while and with Raya holidays around, Nita is taking leave...
Admin is only left Kath alone...
Yet she is so supportive and care about my new job, what will i be doing, whether i have found a new place, how will i be travelling to work before i move to a more convenient place,etc...
I really felt like i owe her...
But i never cried...
And never can express it out in front of her that i'm sad and i really like her and felt so heavy-hearted...not of leaving Maersk but because of leaving a nice boss behind...

Next week after Raya, will start the new job...
Ady found out the bus schedule and route, knows which bus to take to Kelana Jaya LRT station and take LRT to work...
Just hope that i won't be late and manage on time with all the time management.
Havent found a room to move in yet...
And dunno whether i will find any??
A bit blur and a bit uncertain...
But tired of looking for rooms ady...
Lazy to think ady...

Sanchoon wanted to rent a house in Tmn Mayang near Kelana Jaya LRT...one whole house and ask me to rent thr...
We can share, but for me is a bit inconvenient bcos it will be an empty house, unfurnished and without facilities, that will be too expensive...
But, staying together with fren, indeed is safer and more convenient, and if need any help will definitely be easy...
I also know that he is a very nice fren...
However, i'm really not sure and hate to think about that also...
Is like suddenly, everythg is not going smooth and i need to find solution and make decision about a lot of things...
My smooth period and short term goodluck for the time when i just move in to this Subang house seems not so strong anymore...
Or maybe there is something better in front there that need me to get only if i manage to cross over the trouble that i'm having now...
That is what i always advice myself at...
"Something better is waiting ahead of you, just stay on and after you cross over this hardship, you will felt much much better and the rewards is waiting in front"

I wish that you were somewhere closer with me and can share all these and share the opinion with me...wish that you were getting closer and nearby me...

Jiayou YS!!! _@_