Today jus have one class 2-3.30pm, but i wake up late..so have a lot to do before i can leave for Genting tonite..Wash clothes, do asignments that need to be passup as soon as back from holiday..
But, a very good fren sms me that he is feeling down, ask if can chat with him..But, i am so sorry that i dun have enuogh time to pay him some attention...Realli sorry for not being able to help u..But, i never forget that u have alwiz try to console me when i'm not feeling good...Reali sorry...
After this, i just need to do some packing...and we will head for Genting...but inside my heart, i dun feel happy or excited at all...Recently, i dun seem like paying attention in everythg i do...in group project, in asignment,evry task given...i do it just to complete the task, a feeling of just to complete it, not care whether it is done with good job or bad...The interest has lost,i dun pay attention anymore, i dun care anymore, i dun argue or state my opinion anymore...i jus feel as if leave it evrythg to others, and just take watever they left or give to me...That is totally not me...at least not the previous me...Previously, I aim for the best..strive to do it as good as posible, and will be satisfied with the results only when i have done my best...but now, i dun give it any care watever the result will be...I have totally lost myself...
Lastnite, i really wish i can cry my heart out...cry as loud as possible, cry as much as i like....but i didn't manage to cry...not even a drop of tear...If only i can cry, perhaps i'll feel better,...not like now,with some hard feeling stuck inside my heart trying to get out...
Why am i acting like tis?..In front of others, i act so normal, act so strong, as if i never feel hurt at all...but actually, i'm hurt...hurt without me realising it...i thought i had not step in my feet...but, actually, without me realising it, i have step in...
During the break, when i'm still at home, perhaps, i try to forget with other programmes around, and at least, i'm not thinking of it at all...but now, back to tis uni, suddenly, i feel so bad, feel so unhappy, i know somthg is wrong,...but, i can't do anythg...my only choice is just to forget and find back my old self...i need to have back my feeling....
Will the few days to Genting bring back my feeling?..Perhaps, after i scream my heart out, i will feel better...Please God, help me...
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