What Should I Do?

It's been a long while since my last visit here. Why suddenly i'm back? Bcos i'm undecisive. And someone who i always went to, seems to make me even more undecisive. Tell me to go for it, then the next minutes, tell me the negative side of going for it. I'm already vry messy, can u help to clear me up, rather than tangled my mind more?

Feel so tired recently, become a slave to work, rushing here and there, yet still late for work. Not enough sleep myself, and at the same time, make him not enough sleep and concentration at work. A trouble of my own and become a trouble to someone else. Been wondering, what had happen to my life? Life in city is just like this, just for work, and weekend rest for recharge for work again, having eye bag, panda eye, pimples, headache, pale face just for work again, rushing and crashing each other in the crowds just to enter the train just for work again?? I'm looking older than my own age now. How long can i still stand this?

What i really want for my life? Find a nearer job so no need to rush? But, need to restrict the area just bcos where i stay? I just want to find a job that can give me satisfaction, a job that make me feel good and make my boss proud of me, a job that i can handle well and be good at. But, these all seems so hard to get. I cant perform in my current job, one year is not a short period yet i never do well. Boss never complain, but i have lost faith and confidence in myself. I wish to change bcos my age is getting older, and it will be harder to switch field later than sooner. I need to do it as soon as possible. But i have no certainties. I don't know what will happen and don't dare to think what will happen? Will i be regret of what i'm losing consequences of changing job? High pay, 2-hour lunch, no paperwork, change field after i manage to get the license?Oh God, what am i doing?? Suddenly, i feel like going to Church and talk to Jesus, ask Him to give me some indications.

Is money that important? Or life-value?I knew that i will most probably get pay cut after i change job, but don't have to keep telling me all the expenses that i'm going to bear. Sometimes, i feel that i need your support, but you keep making me feel stress by telling me all the negative sides that i already knew. Or, you will say two side of both option and make me undecisive. I'm slow in making decision. i knew that is my weakness, but i need your support.