1st October

Is the first day of October and is Monday...
In my office but today is damn free and i can't do anythg bcos the system that i need to access to do my work is down and there is nothing i can do but wait and wait...
So, all i can do is look at the high pilling of invoices i need to create PO but unable to do anything...
Surfing thru the net, reading people's blog and writing my own blog...

Weekends is fun...
Pei Ee came to KL and like usual...we will have MESAT gathering...
Spend whole Saturday shopping in Midvalley...i bought a lot..spend RM260...but is within my budget and i get all the things i need...
I need to make over my image...bought a few nice blouse and dress and makeup sets and few pairs of heels...
New job, new look and new image...
Feel excited about how is gonna be like ...my new job...wondering and imagining....

After that, we went to have steamboat in Kepong...very very long time havent had steamboat ady...
So full, so hot and so nice and so fun to be around these MESAT frens...
So familiar and yet so comfortable for me to say anything, eat in whatever manner...so comfy and can do whatever i like...there is no need for any special manner...just be as who you are...cos they will not look at me as if i'm an alien...
With new people, i need to build up a certain kind of shield...and pretend or just keep something with whatever i do...just to leave impression...
Not so nice,rite?

After that we go Bukit Permai...or "Small Genting"...somewhere up on a hill...there you can view the whole KL scenery...quite nice...and is a couple spot..
Can see lots lots of couples there...but i'm not goin in couple but with a bunch of frens...
Maybe nextime, someone else will bring me there??

Then next stop is a mamak stall in Wangsa Maju..BRJ...lots lots of people and is 2am in the morning...KL people never sleep itz??

After that, San Choon sent us back...on the way, we went to Chow Kit Street looking for "akua"...but not really saw anythg interesting....on the way back Puchong, saw accident...journey seems so long and that Saturday is fully used just like that...
Reach Puchong, Siew Ting's house around 4am...bath and chat with Siew Ting and Pei Ee...until around 6am only we sleep...

The next morning wake up around 9am..had breakfast in Puteri Mart and then sent Pei Ee to Pudu and then take some picture at Istana Negara...and half of the Sunday is spent...

Back to Subang house, wash clothes, had lunch and watch "200 Pounds Beauty"...and sleep damn early cos very tired and not enough sleep...8pm, i'm in my bed ady...

But...keep being wakeup by people calling me...HC call and sounds so fierce...as if he is forcing me to make decision on the spot to move to Wangsa Maju...i dun wan to make such a rush decision...and i dun like Wangsa Maju...still searching for a proper place and a place that is more comfy to live.Because, for me, a house is very important especially when after a day of hard and stress at work..you will definitely need a very calm, peace and comfy house to rest...
But, the way he talk to me is as if i need to just call and move in as long as there is an empty room...Sorry, i can't do that and i hate moving around...

The worst part of this new job that i will be going to is the uncertainty that i need to deal with...I'm uncertain of my capability, whether i can handle the job or not, i'm uncertain whether i will like there or not, i'm uncertain whether where i should stay, should i move? or just travel?...should it be in PJ, or Wangsa Maju or somewhere else?..the only excitement about this new job is the opportunity to meet people, the opportunity to learn new things, financial instruments and all kinds of new knowledge that is applicable and of course the rewards in term of $$ that it offers...

But after all, i'm still in doubt...whether is this the right decision??
Everything seems so fast, i feel as if i'm just here, just start new life in Subang/KL (3 mths ago,actually)...and now, i need to start anew again...haven't hardly get used, but i need to do some changes again...
Finding troubles by myself??
Or heading to a better life??
I really need someone by my side now, and give me advice and help me to lead my life...
God, you will arrange everything,rite??

Praying hard...:)

Please God, Guide Me...

These few days really felt myself lost and floating...
Unable to make decision and dunno who should i go to...
There is always some discouragement and some harsh words that make my faith tremble...

Aunt pass away..that is fast and unpredictable...

I resigned.HR accepted my resignation and confirmed that my last day will be on 12 October. Went to a one-day training on the new job, like attending a lecture. I like it bcos i totally need to learn a lot.But at the same time, i'm afraid.Can i handle the job?I have very very very little knowledge about it.After attending the training, i feel like i need to go to a public library and borrow lots of books and come back and read.Is just like back to the school-day, doing assignment time when u need to do some study and research from the very basic concept to understand the whole thing.That is interesting. But, i also scared from the way they talk, fast and speedy during quoting and speak lenghty words in short period,fast but clear.Can i do that?

At the same time, i need to find solutions to a lot a lot of questions.First, i need two hours to reach my new workplace from my current stayplace.Everyone is advicing me to move.I know that is true.But to where?Everyone suggest one place: Wangsa Maju. But at the same time, everyone is giving me the same discouragement, by telling me that the place is not a good place to stay, telling me is dirty, is crowded and is dangerous. So what is the suggestions?Is like you a giving me a suggestions and at the same time, u are giving objections to that suggestions.So, what should i do??

Next, i have a conversation with a fren. She is like suddenly giving me solution. When i thought that will be the best idea, everything will be settle, suddenly, turn out that suggestions receive same thing...a lot of objections. ST suggested me to buy a motor, ride to nearer LRT station, at least save a bit of the time spend on KTM and on walking. I was about to accept that idea. Then, everyone else is telling me not a wise decision.Is dangerous. What happens if it rain?What happens when you met snatch thief?What happens when you ride at nite?All sort of stories came out, making me worry and started to think of NO to the motor idea.
So what should i do?

Mum is totally disagree with my resignation. She scold at me.Said that i shouldn't have resigned now.Should have wait till December after get bonus pay. Said that i never think of new workplace, whether was it convenient or not?Said that i never think in details about everything. I was calling to discuss about possible solutions but end up i get scold and leaving me felt more distracted because i started to think whether have i make the right decision?whether i started to regret?

Sometimes, i really admired those that have brother and sister by their side. At least, someone is there can help you make decision.I'm helpless now.And felt that i myself have seek all these troubles, if i hadn't resigned, hadn't changed job, everything will just stay constant and no troubles, no worries and no need to think so much about these...rite??So, am i a fool??to seek all these troubles??

Sometimes, i just feel that i want to go home...back AT...i'm tired of life like this..keep on handling decision, and everything on ur own, bear everything on my own..But, i'm just here 3 mths.So easily give up??

God, please guide me...I'm scared.Realli am...

New Lifestyle, new job...everything starts new...

These few days can't have internet connection from home..
No MSN...no chatting....no blogging...

So, now have to curi-curi online in the office...
Received a comment from Sanchoon...realli felt touched, said that i'm a good fren...but, actuali, he is a much nicer fren than me..I owe them a lot..And, now only i know that actuali i talk repeatedly when i'm excited??true or not?shld change this habit la..

Last Wed went to interview. At 1st, plan to take a fake MC...but end up, i really fall sick ady..keep vomiting after lunch..and the whole journey back home from KLCC with the LRT and KTM make me feel extremely sick and uneasy...Vomit several times..At first, promise Siew Ting, Shia Leng and San Choon go shopping at MidValley, end up, they bring me see doctor,take MC and sleep early that nite..

Interview is successful eventhough i'm late half hour...but is nice talking to the CEO..got the job and will start new job next month..just submitted my resignation letter yesterday.

New job is a money brokers...meet bankers..learn financial instruments and need to take exam...pass the exam only will get a license..all paid by the company..i guess, that's a new start which i am eager to try..
But, the office is far yet i don't want to move...will see how la...

Suddenly, felt very grateful cos everyone seems to be so nice and really care about me...I guess the biggest assets i have now is the people around me...eventhough i have nothing valuable in me, still they care and they really do...helping me without asking for any returns..or expecting any returns..

Kath is so nice and supportive like a sister, Michael is so helpful like a brother...where to get such a nice boss and landlord neh??..so is all those supportive and caring MESAT frens...thankyou all very much..

Hope that new job will really make me learn new thgs and a better life...

Getting Sicks...

Started to have a disease attacking me ady...
Dun't feel like talking...
Dun't feel like mixing or chatting or explaining or telling anyone anything...
Just feel like keep to myself and keep quiet...
Just feel like having myself for the day...

This is the same feeling i had previously during beginning of sem6...
When i know that something is wrong with me...
When i know that i must make myself busy so that i'm not thinking of someone...
When i tried not to be angry or get my mood swing because of someone...
Make my life more fun with lots of activities...

Now,i had the same disease again...
Same boredom feel...
I need some changes...
Change a new job...
Find a weekend partime...
Meet other people...
And most important of all, dun keep relying on you...

I'm wrong and i know that...
Now i need to get well...

Gambate YS!!
You done it once...u can do it again...
Time will cured everything...

Stupid...

I'm stupid...
I'm sucks...

Basic knowledge also don't know...
Who is the CEO of Microsoft?...
I can't remember the name...
Air Asia??...
I only know is an Indian...
Can't remember the name...
Now while sitting here, i remember is Tony Fernandez...
But, why just now i can't recall at all...
Stupid!!!

Who is the CEO of Maxis??
I remember is the same person who owned Astro...
I know is an Indian too...
And i have done assignment on Astro...
I should have know the answer...
But, damn it!!
I can't remember...

So goes all the other general knowledge questions...
All burned...

Stupid me...
I'm sucks...

The advice the interviewer gave me is...
"You are just fresh grad...go grab more experience on international markets...read newspaper everyday...after 8 months or one year...come back again and reapply...We do offer highly paid salary and benefits and reward very good commision...but, we only hired certain level of intelligence people to work with us...My advice is quit your admin job and go for a job experience that give you knowledge so that you learn somthing...admin you learn nothing...goodluck in pursuing your dream."

Burned today's interview,but i very appreciate his advice.His right.I shouldn't waste time doing things that does not benefit me in the future.Bought a newspaper.For reading for current biz market.And for applying job too.

Wish me goodluck.I need a new life.I can't stay on depending on just these certain people.One day,if they are no more easily available for me to depend on, i will lost my hanging tree and will get floating, no direction, and may just drown like that.

Regret...

Shouldn't have drink...
Shouldn't have talked...
Shouldn't have asked question..
Shouldn't have answer anything...

Should just remain silent...
Should just go to sleep...
Should just keep quiet...

I just love spending time with you...
Thats all...
I will not ask for anything more...
I will not do anything more...
I will just be your fren..
Whichever way that you feel comfortable...
I will choose to just remain that way...
I will respect you...

Just hope that there are no any embarrassment or any uneasiness feel between us...

A Hard Decision Again....

Why always like that??
Each time i apply for jobs,surely there will be a few good options for me to choose...
Really interested in event management..career opportunities with Marcus Evans...they offered me interview on this Monday...

But now, The Store called me for interview also...is Management Trainee....better career flow,rite?Retail business....but a week later after interview with ME....so,what to do leh??

What if i need to make decision again??Headache la...

Annie will most probably be leaving,moving away from this current rent house....meaning i can't afford the rent alone...too expensive...so, i need to move also??...But, i love this place.Can i not move??Is there any other way??

Haih...sigh....need to find new place to stay again??!!!...Tired la like this...

God!Please show me a small path...show me some light....help me....don't make me so troubling....without transport is damn troublesome!!!Finding new place to stay also troublesome..Hard to find a place just like now...Help me God!!Show me some miracle!!

Dun Regret...Just do it!!!

Today i get a call from Marcus Evans.Have a short phone interview and they requested me to attend an interview this Monday.Happy??or not??Should be happy cos they called.But is not the position i wanted.Wonder if i manage to get in,can i change department in the future??

I have send resume to apply for event management position and sales position too.But, they offered me a sales position..Maybe, that is a good start also..Can build my network??Improve my image??Build self-confidence??

Really hope everything will be smooth this Monday.

This Saturday will be going to Genting,just think about it oso felt happy cos very long,we din have such gathering.I miss all the old good frens.Hope we can realli enjoy this coming weekend.

A bit hesitated whether my current decision is right or wrong?Go or not to go??But, i think just do it la!!!Dun regret!!

Gambate YS!!!